Who knew sealing the back deck and front porch would take FOUR FULL DAYS?
I’ve painted a lot of things in my life. Rooms. Ceilings. Porches. Exteriors of homes… it takes time. It’s tedious and your feet end up with ladder rung imprints for about two weeks.
But sealing raw wood on a deck and porch?
First off, there’s those little one inch wide stick
things that are part of the railing. There are MILLIONS of them. Each one has FOUR sides. Two sides are between two other stick thing-a-ma-bobs. Which means you have to torque your wrist at some weird alien angle to get the stain on.
When I found out the builder didn’t seal the wooden structures and that I had to do it, I thought, eh, I could knock out the back deck in an afternoon and the entire front porch in a half day.
Who was I fooling? I hallucinated I lived on Planet Home Depot!
Hey, did you know wood is thirsty? It sucks up that oil-based sealant like a dehydrated camel with a bad case of here-jeebies.
I dipped my brush, skimmed off the excess, then pulled the brush over the wood surface. One trillionth of an inch into said brush pull, the sealant disappeared!! Brush dry! Wood looked like it never met my brush.
After a while, I slinged and slopped that oily stuff all over those stick things. (My husband, who is an architect, has a special name for them, but they are evil and don’t deserve such a fancy sounding name.)
Not only was wood finally covered in sealant, but I was as well.
It didn’t smell all that great.
Neither did I.
So… six hours later… I was only 3/4 of the way done with the railing on the big deck. That does NOT include the stairs.
Sore, slimy and somewhat defeated, I stared at the deck as the coolness of the Wyoming evening crept in gumming up my stain. I wanted to cry. How many days was this gonna take?
Four full days later I was done. My dog is lucky to be alive.
So is everyone else in my house.
But it’s done.
I think my family owes me. Like, a really nice dinner out? Maybe a trip up to the Winchester Steak House in Buffalo?
What do you think?