Up or Down?

Must walk EVERY day, or my house is filled with chaos.

Must walk EVERY day, or my house is filled with chaos.

Today I was on my w-a-l-k with Psycho dog when I noticed something.

My feet.

A lot of my feet.

Why?

Because I am in the habit of hanging my head and looking down. walking

I lifted my face and gazed down the street, but soon found myself staring at the ground, looking deep into the cracks of the concrete sidewalks.

When I look at the ground, I miss a lot. I miss the murder of crows blackening a leaf-bare tree. I miss the Very Brazen Coyote lurking in the middle of the street, waiting to devour my dog. I miss the smile of the little old lady raking leaves into a trash bag. I walk into a lamp post.

In spite of several efforts to look up and look ahead, I found myself ground gazing again and again.

Why?

It hit me that I have been living my life that way. Looking down. I  allowed life to beat me down so much, I forgot the view around me. I don’t feel worthy of looking people in the eye because… because… what if they see my battle scars and judge me?

Ithaca street viewOr, is it more of a self-deception where if I don’t see the world,  it won’t see me and hurt me anymore?

Am I hiding?

If so, why?

Right now I don’t have answers to these questions. But I am aware of the problem. I am faced with a choice. Will I live bodily and look up?

Or, will I continue to hide and let my gaze scrape the ground?

 

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